{"id":17575,"date":"2020-02-10T20:09:59","date_gmt":"2020-02-11T03:09:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crucible.wpmudev.host\/?post_type=books-articles&p=17575"},"modified":"2020-02-10T21:49:44","modified_gmt":"2020-02-11T04:49:44","slug":"from-the-introduction","status":"publish","type":"books-articles","link":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/books\/brain-talk\/from-the-introduction\/","title":{"rendered":"From The Introduction"},"content":{"rendered":"

Brain Talk<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0offers what you need to know about mind mapping and the emerging brain science of interpersonal neurobiology (how interacting with other people affects your brain).\u00a0Brain Talk<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0is written for the general public in an easy-to-read style and establishes a personal relationship with you. It creates vivid pictures in your mind with attention-grabbing examples, and walks you into powerful new understandings of yourself and the people who populate your life. Reading Brain Talk can be a life-changing experience!<\/p>\n

From the Introduction:<\/h3>\n

People who seek therapy frequently want a magic bullet that wipes away all their ills after just one visit. Psychotherapy doesn\u2019t work that way, of course. But I\u2019ve discovered some things that can vastly improve your functioning with a single exposure. Over the past twelve years I\u2019ve developed Crucible\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0Neurobiological Therapy, which I\u2019ve observed to be truly life\u2013changing and transformative. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s hyperbole to say this book has the power to greatly improve your life.<\/p>\n

This revolutionary therapy emerged from troubled origins. During my four\u2013decade\u2013long career helping couples with sex, intimacy and relationship problems, many went on to have happier marriages, healthier families and more functional lives. Of particular interest to me, however, were those who didn\u2019t thrive. What you\u2019ll read here comes from studying my clients who did the worst.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not like I was dealing with large sample sizes. From time to time I\u2019d have a couple that didn\u2019t do well. Sometimes I would even have two. But on one occasion I got incredibly lucky. I had\u00a0three<\/em>\u00a0couples that weren\u2019t making progress! I say “lucky” because, as many scientists attest, groundbreaking discoveries often emerge from disappointing failures.<\/p>\n

But to tell the truth, I wasn\u2019t feeling very scientific or fortunate at the time. Having three fail\u2013to\u2013thrive couples at once bothered me. I was frustrated. However, this also allowed me to do something having just one failing couple didn\u2019t.\u00a0\u201cWhat do they have in common?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0I asked myself.\u00a0\u201cDo couples who don\u2019t do well in therapy share a common factor? How can I help these people?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Around the same time I started studying my treatment failures, the nascent field of interpersonal neurobiology emerged. Modern brain science was in full swing, especially Theory of Mind, the study of humankind\u2019s ability to recognize other people\u2019s mental states as well as our own. I found this language too abstract and unwieldy, so I devised my own take on the subject:\u00a0Mind mapping<\/em>, the brain\u2019s ability to make a mental map of another person\u2019s mind, was born. You\u2019ll get a nuanced and elaborate explanation of mind mapping in the first part of this book. Pretty quickly I think you\u2019ll see why mind mapping completely captivated me.<\/p>\n

To make a long story short, it turned out that the missing link among my fail\u2013to\u2013thrive couples had everything to do with mind mapping. (I\u2019ll tell you what I discovered in Part Two.) Applying what I learned about mind mapping proved to be a game changer. Mind mapping exponentially advanced my prior decades of work. This helped me identify root problems facing my fail\u2013to\u2013thrive couples, and allowed me to develop new treatments to help them. This eventually evolved into\u00a0Crucible Neurobiological Therapy<\/strong><\/em>. (We\u2019ll cover this in Part Three.)<\/p>\n

By looking at their lives through the lens of mind mapping, my clients began to see themselves, their partners, and their relationships in entirely new ways. Long\u2013avoided difficult truths not only came to the surface, my hard\u2013core couples were more willing and able to deal with them. Even highly troubled couples from very difficult backgrounds revitalized their marriages and developed better relationships, healthier families, and more productive lives.<\/p>\n

Two things really caught my attention: The first was how learning about mind mapping really helped couples\u00a0thrive<\/em>. Partners weren\u2019t just happier with themselves and each other. They reported being better able to handle\u00a0all<\/em>\u00a0the important relationships in their lives. Many said their typical thoughts and feelings\u2014their general state of mind\u2014changed for the better. I also noticed definite changes in their appearance and demeanor. They looked better, their eyes were more alive, and their faces were more appealing. Some women reported girlfriends asking if they\u2019d had Botox treatments!<\/p>\n

The other astonishing thing was how\u00a0quickly<\/em>\u00a0this happened. For the last three decades, my practice has consisted of people from around the world who fly to Evergreen Colorado for four days of three\u2013hour intensive therapy sessions. My no\u2013nonsense direct\u2013talking therapy is well known for being fast\u2013paced. So trust me, I\u2019m used to fast and intense. But applying mind mapping to Crucible Therapy was like igniting a booster rocket. It\u2019s been an integral component of my therapy ever since.<\/p>\n

Although I\u2019ve been developing my methodology over the last twelve years, I haven\u2019t shared it with the general public until now. Only recently have I started teaching this to other therapists. I\u2019m a natural skeptic,\u00a0especially<\/em>\u00a0of my own work. It\u2019s taken me this long to study mind mapping\u2019s effects on the brain, package my methods into a teachable protocol, and convince myself of its effectiveness.<\/p>\n

After I gave a lecture in Germany in 2015, I knew it was time to share this with a broader audience. It was scheduled for two hours (I was working with a translator), but it actually lasted three. There were seven hundred people in attendance, and, although I talked an hour longer than I was supposed to, virtually no one got up and walked out. You would think after two hours of fairly heavy material most would leave, but everyone stayed. People were riveted.<\/p>\n

Afterwards I was blown away by the audience\u2019s response. One person told me, \u201cMy life has opened up. Mind mapping creates an entirely new reality for me. It makes me view my past and present completely differently, and I see a whole new future for me.\u201d That\u2019s the sort of impact mind mapping can have on you. It radically changes your view of your life and everyone in it.<\/p>\n

The same thing happens when therapists learn about mind mapping. I discovered this when I conducted the initial professional training workshops in Europe and America. The jaws of therapists dropped in shock. Because many had spent lots of time and money in their own personal therapies, they were stunned by the new personal insights and revised life histories they developed during the workshops. They also understood their own patients so very differently, their prior therapeutic methods looked naive. This showed me how one exposure to this information can have tremendous impact.<\/p>\n

I think one reason for this powerful effect is that it enters your brain so quickly and easily. Your brain just eats up this information. Then it starts generating new understandings of the important people and past and current experiences in your life. This happens so fast, it\u2019s almost like mind mapping speaks the brain\u2019s language. This prompted me to coin the phrase “brain talk<\/em><\/b>.” It\u2019s the best way to describe mind mapping\u2019s incredible accessibility and potency.<\/p>\n

In\u00a0Brain Talk<\/em><\/b>, you\u2019ll read a lot about the brain. As you learn about mind mapping, your brain gains knowledge of itself. For instance, there can be undetected gaps in your mind\u2013mapping radar. Did you know your mind mapping shuts down under certain conditions? Once your brain knows this, it starts to take this into account. Without this knowledge, you probably underestimate other people\u2019s mind\u2013mapping ability.<\/p>\n

Did you know that you can also be blind to what\u2019s going on in your own mind, at the very moment you\u2019re insisting you\u2019re the master of it? Once you learn about mind mapping, your brain reorganizes the autobiographical story of your life, and the meaning of events that populate it. Your picture of who you are and how you got this way changes, as does your view of all the people in your life.<\/p>\n

This transformation brings forth moments of profound insight. Sometimes it\u2019s an \u201caha!\u201d moment. Other times it\u2019s more like, “Oh no!” Pleasing or not, most people find this new awareness helps them function better in daily life. (Parts Two and Three show you how to trigger this process.) That\u2019s why learning about mind mapping is so rewarding. It applies to every aspect of your life: sex, intimacy, money, fractious children, elderly parents, touchy in\u2013laws, difficult bosses, petulant coworkers, and on and on.<\/p>\n

Pretty quickly, you\u2019ll see mind mapping everywhere you look. Trips to the supermarket or department store will never be the same. As you walk down the aisles, other people\u2019s interactions turn into dramatic vignettes. You recognize a husband trying to tell his wife she doesn\u2019t look good in a dress she\u2019s tried on without explicitly saying so. You watch a teenage daughter trying to manipulate her mother into buying her a provocative outfit by implanting the false belief all her girlfriends dress this way. Elsewhere, a mother tells her screaming three\u2013year\u2013old she\u2019s going to leave him in the store if he doesn\u2019t take her hand and walk out with her. You realize the cashier at the checkout counter is being overly solicitous to the attractive shopper standing in front of you. Then you go home and use mind mapping to convince your husband you really need something you bought! All the dramas surrounding you are suddenly illuminated.<\/p>\n

Mind mapping isn\u2019t some abstract theory. It\u2019s a tangible process that\u2019s clearly observable. It\u2019s been analyzed with sophisticated brain scanners in hundreds of research studies. Mind mapping occurs constantly in interpersonal relations. It never stops. You can\u2019t help but be profoundly influenced by it. Mind mapping lies at the core of the best interpersonal experiences you can have (including sex). Unfortunately, however, it\u2019s also part of the worst ones (sex too).<\/p>\n

For better and worse, humans are natural-born mind mappers. It\u2019s an important innate ability that can be further developed and has many practical applications. Learning about the negative brain impacts of\u00a0traumatic<\/em>\u00a0mind mapping takes away your complacency about dealing with highly troubled relationships. It lights a fire under you. It makes you get off your butt and do what\u2019s necessary to improve your life and the lives of everyone around you.<\/p>\n

A large part of Crucible Neurobiological Therapy can be self\u2013administered. You don\u2019t need a therapist to guide you through it. (I recommend discussing this with your therapist if you have one. Moreover, this book is not a substitute for therapy you may be needing.) However, therapists are unavailable in many places in the world.\u00a0Brain Talk<\/em><\/b>\u00a0is my response to this obstacle. The pragmatic step\u2013by\u2013step things I\u2019ll describe can help people who might otherwise not have access to a therapist.<\/p>\n

In order to give you something that might really help you, what I\u2019ll describe may be troubling at times. This can also trigger disturbing memories. Part Two focuses on\u00a0traumatic mind mapping<\/em>, the damage done when mapping out someone\u2019s mind negatively impacts your brain and mind. There I\u2019ll describe troubling things that often occur in marriage and parenting, including dark secrets the general public refuses to acknowledge. This no\u2013nonsense view of human nature might disturb folks who\u2019d rather see the world through rose\u2013colored glasses.<\/p>\n

When I describe unfortunate life experiences in Part Two, take comfort that Part Three provides effective solutions for problems caused by these experiences. You\u2019ll find detailed information about how to resolve traumatic mind mapping. I\u2019ll also teach you how to handle difficult people who are capable of frying your brain. To conclude, I\u2019ll show how to use mind mapping to create really lovely experiences, like increasing intimacy in your marriage, enhancing relationships with your children and aging parents, improving the atmosphere at your workplace, and deepening your friendships.<\/p>\n

Doing therapy for over thirty years has made me a realistic optimist. Make no mistake,\u00a0Brain Talk<\/em><\/b>\u00a0appeals to the best of human nature, rather than the worst. I\u2019ve certainly seen the worst in people, yet I\u2019ve always been more impressed by just how good the best in people can be. I constantly work with people from truly deplorable backgrounds, harmed by the most severe traumatic mind mapping. But I haven\u2019t developed a negative worldview. That\u2019s because I\u2019ve learned how to help these folks turn their lives around. Most times I get to watch people from highly dysfunctional families dramatically improve their lives. I hope reading Brain Talk infuses you with a similar positive attitude.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, I hope\u00a0Brain Talk<\/em><\/b>\u00a0helps you appreciate how much we are all inextricably interconnected, how we impact each other’s brains with our minds and not simply our behavior. You can make the world around you a better place, simply by cleaning up your inner mental world. Legislation and law enforcement will never, by themselves, end sexual and emotional abuse, racism, terrorism, and other forms of discrimination, persecution, and exploitation. For this, we must look into our own minds and hearts. That’s where the world we all want to live in starts.<\/p>\n

Dr. David Schnarch
\nEvergreen, Colorado
\nJune 26, 2017<\/p>\n

\u00ab Brain Talk – From the Index<\/a> Brain Talk – Suggestions for Reading \u00bb<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"parent":17268,"menu_order":5,"template":"","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"wds_primary_category":0},"categories":[65],"class_list":["post-17575","books-articles","type-books-articles","status-publish","hentry","category-brain-talk"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"woocommerce_thumbnail":false,"woocommerce_single":false,"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"developer","author_link":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/author\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Brain Talk\u00a0offers what you need to know about mind mapping and the emerging brain science of interpersonal neurobiology (how interacting with other people affects your brain).\u00a0Brain Talk\u00a0is written for the general public in an easy-to-read style and establishes a personal relationship with you. It creates vivid pictures in your mind with attention-grabbing examples, and walks…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/books-articles\/17575","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/books-articles"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/books-articles"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/books-articles\/17575\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/books-articles\/17268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crucible4points.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}